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i hate staring at my phone, waiting.� i hate obsessively logging onto myspace to see if youapos;ve replied.� i hate that youapos;re my boyfriend, but for some reason you wonapos;t talk to me.� almost a fucking week.


i fucking hate everyone.� except for one person, who always makes me feel better.� and another who tries her hardest, even if she is so far away--and i canapos;t wait to see her in 8 days for her birthday :)

my friends honestly kind of suck when it comes to helping me.� based on the past.� just saying.

sorry.

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Iapos;ve come to a time where I need to reevaluate what I do, what I stand for, and what exactly I plan to do with myself in the next few years. Iapos;m involved in too much right now, something has to go. Iapos;ve learned the hard way that I have to say "no" sometimes, and that if I cannot find a new job Iapos;m going to have to put a lot more time into this one to ensure that it will be there for me at least a few more years. I feel lucky to have a job, I just wish I didnapos;t hate it as much as I do. I hate feeling like a little piece of my soul dies when I have to talk really slowly, remind people which way left and right is, and how double versus single clicking works. Its just not me.

During all this mess Iapos;ve really neglected myself spiritually. I feel empty, like nothing matters, I just want it gone. This is my root, how could I ever expect to guide others spiritually, let alone moderate a spiritually-based community when Iapos;m just not feeling it anymore? I try to think about why I started in the first place, why I wanted to join, and I can no longer think of why.

I have to cut something from my plate. Feelings may get hurt, but I donapos;t want to worry myself to death over things I probably had no business doing in the first place.

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Sick again. Fuk.

stupid fresherapos;s flu or something.

Everyone in Uni is getting it.

In anycase, i think the guys (us) weapos;re getting bonded well now. 6 of us in a flat. Haha.

Just did texas poker. Ended up 2nd. After an epic journey of 1v1ing all the way.

�

Regards to my romance life, i donapos;t know really..... Seriously..........

I know where this is all heading. A�DEAD�END.

She will take her path, and I will take mine.

Too optimistic to even conclude the conclusion

I donapos;t know :/

Sometimes, i just feel like dying. Lifeapos;s such a chore.

But then, Iapos;ve died once. I was given a second chance at Life.

Canapos;t waste it anymore...�Canapos;t waste it anymore...
�

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We've gotten some good news today So, I have been contemplating the fact that I may have to drive 1500 miles by myself with my 2 hooligans..er, I mean children. Well, Jeremy spoke with the relocation department today and HOORAY They will fly all of us out, ship our cars, and give us rentals until our cars get there HOORAY Oh, and they should be able to get us moved by the end of the month. Yipee

Now, here's my dilemma...what to do with my yarn? I don't trust my yarn going on the truck, having the movers pack it (like they know what to do with wooly goodness), so I am thinking of a.) getting a suitcase just for my yarn, or b.) putting it all in the van (in ziplock bags of course) and let it be shipped with the van.
What have other knitter's done when they've moved? I am nervous about moving my stash Any good ideas??

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So, this weekend was VERY good for Apocalypse Prevention, Inc. I worked on layout all weekend, quite literally. I only stopped sitting at my desk and working on the book long enough to eat meals and watch Superbad with my GF (great movie by the way). Doing the layout, Iapos;m not realizing the few things Iapos;m missing from the book that i still need to write up... So, thatapos;s what Iapos;ll be working on this week.

I also have 90 of all the art that Iapos;m do, so yay The crazy thing is that it seemed so daunting, but now that Iapos;m doing it, itapos;s insanely fun and nowhere near as hard as i thought itapos;d be. Iapos;m no layout expert by far... But Iapos;ve read enough RPG books that i kinds just know where stuff should go and how i like it to look. What Iapos;ve done so far look freakinapos; awesome.

So, thereapos;s my weekend update. Iapos;m so excited cause now Iapos;m so close to completion.

-Oni
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10 Immediate Goals:

1) Get a work VISA
2) Stop smoking... That means smoking anything.
3) Learn to play the guitar. Thereapos;s a certain amount of pathetic in owning a guitar just to hold it and look cool.
4) Get a new skate helmet.
5) Make certain things up to Lauren.
6) Make some new friends.
7) Write some letters.
8) Get enough courage to show some poetry to Lauren.
9) Find a gym.
10) Find out the best way to make a good impression/present myself for when we go to the reservation.

10 Names I like.

Boys:
1) Helaku
2) Francis
3) Simon
4) Daniel
5) Max

Girls:
1) Alice
2) Robin
3) Natalie
4) Kay
5) Lena

10 annoyances:
1) VISAs and all their steps.
2) My insecurities
3) Jayapos;s boyfriend Tim and how he thinks my name is Arnold
4) Societal standards
5) The way people in America treat gays
6) The fact that my family is far away.
7) The paper cut I got this morning. Ouch.
8) Slob roommates
9) The cost of adapters for UK appliances
10) The fact that I canapos;t beat Phil at Halo

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Iapos;ve been reading the posts and lurking for awhile now and have learned an awful lot from everyone. So now itapos;s my turn to ask a question. Iapos;ve decided that the next thing I want to learn is socks. Iapos;ve knit everything else from scarves to lace so itapos;s time for something new. However the pattern Iapos;ve chosen gives the sizes as "Small, Medium, Large, 7.5 (8.25, 9)" around." Around what exactly? The book I bought gives 5 different places to measure. I can be pretty sure itapos;s not the length of the foot or the height of the sock, so that still leaves 3 places to measure. Iapos;m so confused. Thanks for any input. BTW itapos;s a toe up pattern if that makes a difference.

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