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Iapos;ve come to a time where I need to reevaluate what I do, what I stand for, and what exactly I plan to do with myself in the next few years. Iapos;m involved in too much right now, something has to go. Iapos;ve learned the hard way that I have to say "no" sometimes, and that if I cannot find a new job Iapos;m going to have to put a lot more time into this one to ensure that it will be there for me at least a few more years. I feel lucky to have a job, I just wish I didnapos;t hate it as much as I do. I hate feeling like a little piece of my soul dies when I have to talk really slowly, remind people which way left and right is, and how double versus single clicking works. Its just not me.

During all this mess Iapos;ve really neglected myself spiritually. I feel empty, like nothing matters, I just want it gone. This is my root, how could I ever expect to guide others spiritually, let alone moderate a spiritually-based community when Iapos;m just not feeling it anymore? I try to think about why I started in the first place, why I wanted to join, and I can no longer think of why.

I have to cut something from my plate. Feelings may get hurt, but I donapos;t want to worry myself to death over things I probably had no business doing in the first place.

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